On his birthday a couple of weeks ago, our 2-year old grandson received a bright green car with large tires and a friction motor. When rolled on the floor, the car will continue to travel for quite a distance across the room. The large tires placed at the corners of the car result in wild actions when the car encounters bumps or uneven surfaces. When it hits a wall or the leg of a chair or a person’s foot the car will flip onto an end or side and spin around in circles. The motion delights not only the young child, but his brother and sisters, parents and grandparents. His laughter is infectious and we all find ourselves laughing with him.

Last night I was sitting on the floor, pushing that car back and forth with the two youngest children of our son’s family. I was enjoying watching not only the play with the car, but also the interaction between the two young children, who were managing play between themselves despite different ages and abilities. The situation didn’t require that I speak much or that I intervene to assist the children’s play. I simply turned the car around so that it headed in the direction of the children each time it came towards me.

Being able to simply play with children is one of the luxuries of my retired lifestyle. The situation was as low stress as I can imagine. I didn’t have any responsibilities. The supper table was cleared, the other children were safely engaged in activities, the other adults were enjoying a bit of conversation, and I didn’t feel any rush to be anywhere or do anything. It was delightful.

There were many years in my life when Saturday evenings were not a good time for me to relax. Sundays were days when I needed to be on top of my game and my profession required that I be ready to lead worship with clarity and sensitivity. Even if I was engaged in other activities, I was going over my role in worship the next day in the back of my mind. I needed to think about dozens of things from what I might wear, to the many special prayer concerns that had come to me in the past week, to the dynamics of leadership in a congregation, to upcoming meetings, to budget issues, to the needs of volunteers and church employees. There were all kinds of things that could interrupt my concentration. Emergencies don’t pay attention to schedules and calendars. I could be called out of bed to respond on any night of the week.

I think my family learned not to expect me to be fully engaged on Saturday evenings. Even if I was engaged in conversation and trying to give them my full attention, I’m sure that I was glancing at my watch and allowing my mind to wander from time to time.

Now I am retired. I could enjoy the simply pleasure of being focused on the play of my grandchildren.

The day had been busy for our retirement lifestyle. I had gone over to our son’s home right after breakfast to care for the children so he could go to a work meeting for a couple of hours. Our daughter-in-law works long days on Saturdays, so a bit of extra childcare help eased the pressure on them. I helped the children with breakfast and helped them get dressed and ready for the day. After their father returned, I went home for lunch and a walk with my wife. In the afternoon we attended a delightful birthday party with friends that was a reminder of the community of friends that we now have in our new home. From there we stopped at a pizza restaurant to pick up dinner for our son’s family and headed to their house. The schedule of the day wouldn’t have seemed crowded during my working years, but it was quite a few activities back-to-back for our retirement lifestyle. I’m used to having a few more minutes to read a book or check my email.

However, I don’t get email that can’t wait for a response these days. I don’t have pressing business that lingers in the background. If I don’t complete a task one day, I’ll have time for it on another. The day had plenty of time for me to sit on the floor and roll a car back and forth with my grandchildren and delight in their joy.

I am well aware of the complex dynamics that contributed to the luxury of my evening. Five different congregations over a span of 44 years faithfully contributed to my retirement account to create a source of income for this phase of my life. A very complex set of politics in government created Social Security and Medicare to support my needs and the needs of other seniors. There were a lot of careful church budget meetings, generous volunteer hours, faithful church donors, and visionary planners behind the gifts of time that I enjoy. I have contributed to that process. There were plenty of times when I worried about my impact on the congregations I served. For decades, my salary and support package were the largest single item in the budgets of the congregations I served. I worried about taking too much from the mission of those congregations. Somehow, however, we came up with a fair exchange of my time for the compensation the congregations gave to our family.

When I pause to reflect on the gratitude I feel, I am aware of the hundreds of faithful church volunteers who donated untold thousands of hours of time to maintain healthy institutions that supported my work. I was fortunate to have a career in a unique moment in the history of the church when pastors were appreciated and well supported by congregations and the institutional church was strong and healthy. Through the church I have met so many gracious and generous people.

I’ll never be able to express my gratitude to all who have been so good to me. More than a few of them have died. I officiated at a lot of their funerals. Others continue to serve their congregations in countless faithful ways. A few will read this journal post. I hope that those of you who do will get a glimpse of my gratitude. Your faithfulness has brightened not only my life, but contributed to the joyful laughter of my grandchildren. Thank you.